mixed emotions

I know that my posts are usually pretty silly and fluffy, this is not one of those posts. As most of you know, I have struggled for the last 10 years with Endometriosis. It has been probably the biggest trial I have had thus far in my life.
In the beginning I was only having episodes about every six months or so, it has now progressed to the point where I have more bad days than good. It seems to just keep building and building. The last few weeks or so have been especially difficult, with all my days being bad and only having a few good hours here and there. The added problem being when I do have a few good hours I try to get as much done as I can and end up completely wearing myself out for the rest of the day.
There is no cure for Endo and the only way to make it go away is to have a hysterectomy. Steve and I really want to have one more child first so we have decided to give it till the end of September to get pregnant and then- if I am not- go ahead and have the hysterectomy done before the end of the year. If I do get pregnant then wait till delivery and have the Dr. do one then.
I have very mixed emotions about all of this. It is so final. But at the same time, I do not want to keep living my life this way. I want to have the chance to feel better, to be able to play more with my crazy boys, to be a better wife. Right now, I feel like I am just surviving.

Silly Logan

Well, it has been two weeks since we moved in and I still can't find my camera-to-computer cord, among other things. Since I have no pictures to post I will share a few short stories with you.

We had a family reunion up at Bear Lake the last weekend of June. We picked up some chicken fingers for lunch on the way up and they were a big hit with the boys. It is a very long drive and we had tired boys, Logan however insisted that he was not tired. He was sitting there slowly munching on his chicken while falling asleep. His eyes were closed and his head kept bobbing forward, I kept asking him if he wanted a pillow so he could sleep more comfortably and he kept insisting to me that he wasn't sleepy. I think he fell asleep mid-chew. It was so cute.

Another Logan story. Just happened last night. In Logan's closet he has two rods, one high and one low. We have all his shirts on the bottom rod so he can get himself dressed. Sometimes his shirts fall off the hangers so he brings them to me and I put them back on the hangers and give them back to him to hang up. Well, last night he had two shirts fall off the hangers so he put them outside his door. He was supposed to be sleeping so I thought I would hang them back up for him. I opened his closet to find that he had turned EVERY SINGLE hanger around backwards, so that you would have to lift it up and back to get it out of the closet! No wonder he had so many shirts falling off the hanger! Crazy lil' weirdo!

Excuses Excuses

I know, I know, I have been a major blog slacker, and I apologize. We moved about two weeks ago, but we have only had internet for about a week AND we were out of town last weekend. Plus I have yet to find the camera cord so I can't upload any pictures. Wow, I am just full of excuses, aren't I!

The new place is great, we really love it. We found out too late that Steve got into the nursing program at Dixie, apparently the letter got lost in the mail and returned to Dixie so they called Steve, but we had already signed our lease here for 6 months. they then re-sent the letter and again we have yet to recieve it, so we are hoping they will let him defer until January. so that would be good. I am already sad at the thought of moving out of our new home in 6 months. Man, I hate moving.

By the way- all you girls out there I really want to organize a girls night so let me know what days work for you and we will try to get as many of us together as we can. I was thinking something simple, like dinner or something. anyway- let me know!

J-U-M-P

Logan is very interested in letters and spelling, his latest is JUMP. I had to bribe him to get it on video, but here it is. He is standing on his step-stool, and at the end he falls off of it. pretty funny. enjoy!

Can't wait till Saturday

For those of you that don't know we are moving this Saturday. I could not be more excited! We are absolutely melting here. Everyday I say something like 'this is our last Sunday here.' or 'this is the last Monday that I will have to wash dishes!' We are mostly packed up, what isn't are pretty much essential items. Steve's mom is taking the boys all day on Friday so that I can get all the last minute stuff done. So nice to have family so close, they are always willing to help out. Such a blessing. I am so glad that we are going to be done with this soon. ahhhh.

Logan's Birthday

Today is Logan's third birthday. Hard to believe that three years ago he was just 7 1/2 lbs. He constantly amazes me with how clever he is and how caring he is. He is a ball of energy and I love him exactly how he is. When mama isn't feeling well he loves to help take care of me. When Bronson needs me, he holds his hand and walks him to me. He loves all animals,but especially anything that lives in water. He is a neat freak, and hates things to be broken -even cookies. He loves to 'help', and he makes me laugh everyday. He is such a light in my life and I am humbled to be able to be his mother.

Logan at Two.

Logan at Three.

Just last night Logan was crying when I put him to bed. I went in to check on him and see if I could help. He was upset that I had taken his Jesus picture off the wall when I was packing. Once I replaced the picture he was ready to sleep.

We had a party for Logan today at the park. We had lots of friends and family there to celebrate with us. It was nice having it at a park because it allowed the kids to run around and play. After Bronson's party we promised Logan that he could also have a pinata for his birthday, however I did not have time to make him one with trying to move and all, so we bought them and let the kids go at it.

We have great next-door neighbors here and we are going to miss them when we leave. Randi actually made the cakes for the party and they turned out unbelievably cute. Everyone kept asking me if I had made them. I wish! We had a good time and I am glad it is done with. Thanks to everyone who came, it is always nice to see people that you don't get to see as often as you would like to.

We're Moving!!

We have been in a very tiny apartment for about 8 months now. It does not have a dishwasher, only has two bedrooms and we thought it had AC, but it doesn't. We have found a new home, and couldn't be more pleased! It is a townhome in Springville, 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, and over 5o% more square footage! We are so fortunate, they are holding it for us till the end of the month (we had to give 30 days notice here).

The front of our townhome. Playgound is a ten second walk from the front door. Also very close to another playgound, the pool, tennis courts, hot tub, and clubhouse.

Just inside the main entrance- I am sure you can't tell, but there are nine-foot ceilings and two-tone paint. ah- I am in heaven!

Standing in the same spot as the previous picture, this is of our front room- bay window behind me, and you can see into the kitchen in front of me.

View from the kitchen into the living room. There is a DISHWASHER!! Granite countertops, glass-top stove, TONS of cupboard space. I think being so cramped for so long has made me appreciate all these things more!
Another view of the kitchen.

Logan showing off some of his closet space.

Boys bathroom.

My beautiful walk-in closet! I cannot wait to fill it up!

I guess that pretty much covers it- except, there is a door in the laundry room that leads to our little yard (by yard I mean patio with some dirt - no grass- and a small shed). It is plenty of space for a kiddie pool and sandbox. I think the boys will like having some safe outside space.

Well. that concludes the tour. I am sure you didn't find it nearly as exciting as I did! Can't wait to have everyone over!