moving, again.

Well, we are at it again. MOVING. We can't seem to get enough, apparently. Technically we have been at our current residence for a year, though of course we didn't actually live here for four of those months.

I am still counting it!

Our new place is just a few miles away, and we have already started moving some things over. Though the bulk of it won't get moved till this weekend. Even the boys are excited about the move. (Though Logan did tell me that once we move that he is all done moving.) It is a duplex with a 2 car garage and a small yard. Only about 100 square feet more than we have here, but the rent is less and hopefully somewhere that we can stay for a few years while Steve is toiling through nursing school.

I can't wait to get things set up, especially my Christmas things. I like to get stuff out right after Thanksgiving, and I am really missing the holiday decorating.

My new 'do

Well, I have been moaning and complaining to Steve for months now about my hair, and I finally did something about it!

Here is a before pic to remind you all of what it was like before.Crazy long and fairly blonde. I was mostly bored with the length. I was annoyed that my hair was always in the way and just plain tired of the style and color.

Luckily for me I have made some good friends down here in Dixie who know a thing or two about hair and they hooked me up! I figured while I was changing it I should really mix things up, I have always wanted to go red but I am too scared! So I went with a dark brown instead. They cut off a ton and I would have loved to donate it but my hair was highlighted and apparently 'locks of love' doesn't take highlighted hair. too bad.

Check it out!

The Obligatory Halloween Post!

I think these pictures are pretty self-explanatory! The "ghosts" were made with cupcake cups and googly eyes and dental floss. We also made a million pipe cleaner spiders and various other Halloween items. We decided to use a drill and Mr. potato head pieces instead of carving so that the kids could be more involved, and they loved it. I made a normal one, which Steve then made more 'spooky'! By adding 4 more arms and another face. The boys LOVED it. I think we will have to do it again. Bronson and Logan were an Elephant and a Caterpillar, respectively. Though they were supposed to be reversed, they changed their minds at the last minute. They were adorable and it was so sweet of Steve's Parents to lend them to us. Our ward had a trunk or treat that was amazing and SO convenient. We were home with the boys in bed by 8! We had a very enjoyable Halloween, and we hope you all did too!

Little Buddies

Logan has a friend who lives very close to us, and they are just the cutest things! they live so close that his mom and I can watch them as they go back and forth ALL BY THEMSELVES! He thinks he is such big stuff! This day they were even dressed pretty alike with their green shirts and grey pants. such cute little boys, and both so smart!

Bronson likes to think he is just as big as they are.

no more rhyming now, I mean it!

Tonight we got to share one of our favorite movies with our little men. As a family we watched

'The Princess Bride'. It was so fun!

Logan gets worried about good guys and bad guys, and always wants to know who lives and who dies. So we were telling him about different scenes trying to prepare him for what was coming.

I was particularly worried about the fire swamp and the ROUS's.

Apparently I shouldn't have been.

He was only disappointed that they weren't bigger!

As Steve was tucking him in, Logan asked him if we could watch it again tomorrow! yay!

pictures!

I love musicals and have several favorites. This weekend I was watching 'The Music Man' (remember those days, Amy???) the boys now have a new favorite song. Can you guess it?? Anyone? It is 'shipoopi'. I guess any excuse to say poopy! one of mama's boys!

love you honey!

sweet boys!

caught mid jump!

double cheese for the camera!

caught off guard being cute!

youngest cheesing it!

'hi mom!'

Giveaway!

hey everyone! I know I have been slacking over here, I have been really busy trying to get my other blog up and running. The reponse has been amazing! the first day I had over 125 hits! isn't that crazy? it hasn't even been a week yet and I am just about to the 500 mark! I can't believe it! I want to celebrate! So I am having a giveaway over on my new blog. Please go check it out, and maybe you will win! www.mylittlecreativeoutlet.blogspot.com YAY!

Stuffed Pumpkins

If anyone is interested in the stuffed pumpkins I made last year there is now a tutorial up on my new new blog. let me know what you think.

other blog news

Hey Ya'll! I know in my last post I talked about a new blog I was doing with Jen, but she is out of town and I am impatient, so I decided to start my own blog. I am doing it from a completely separate account so that it won't be able to be tracked back to my personal one. I am also not going to use my real name or the names of my kids. I am hoping that this will be more secure for us.

I know that I am not the only one out there who loves to make/make over things and I would really love to post your projects too. Cher- with your cards and digital scrapbooking. Allison B- your cakes and cake pops ( I ♥ Bakerella too!) Bonny- pretty much anything you have ever touched! Kim- and your furniture makeovers. etc etc etc. I know so many more of you are creative in one way or another and I thought it would be fun for everyone to have a place to post their projects. What do you think? Anyone interested?

The new blog will be www.mylittlecreativeoutlet.blogspot.com but it doesn't have anything on it yet. But please go there and become a follower and email me the projects you have done, or if you want to I can let you write you own post. Just let me know what you would prefer. I am so excited to see what you guys come up with! yay!

Summer Recap

Okay, it has been forever and I have a lot of stories to re-cap. So, to save you all time, I am going to title each paragraph so you will know if you want to read that story or skip on to another one. props to anyone who reads the whole thing!


Hide'n'Seek with toddlers

The other morning the boys and I decided to play hide'n'seek. Well, Logan and I decided and Bronson went along with it. Bronson isn't big enough to count and find so he always hid and Logan and I took turns hiding. It was so funny. Logan and Bronson were in a coat closet giggling LOUDLY and so I loudly searched everywhere else first. Then Bronson and I would hide. The best part was that where ever Bronson and I would hide then Logan and Bronson would just stay in that place. didn't even leave the spot while I counted. They were so funny. Kinda takes all the fun out of looking when they just stay in the same place.


Mouse hunting

Many of you commented on my mouse post. I know that it was over a month ago, so let me update. When Steve got home I was still sitting in the kitchen, trying to corner the mouse and make sure that it didn't go anywhere without me knowing. The thought of going back in the living room and relaxing was not an option. I had Steve try and get it (while I stood safely on a chair). He pulled the stove out and swept around with a broom and he said he didn't see anything and that there were a lot of holes back there where the mouse could have run into and off to an adjoining apartment. The next morning he went and bought traps and we didn't see the mouse again. Honestly, I am questioning whether I even saw a mouse or if I just got all worked up over nothing. Guess it doesn't really matter, I am just glad I didn't see it again!


Swim time

We spent a lot of time at the pool this summer and it was so fun to see the boys grow more and more accustomed to the water. Bronson at first wouldn't let go of me. He was like a little spider monkey clinging to me for dear life. By the end of the summer he was 'swimming' around with his little water wings and telling me 'I a fish, Mama, I a fish!" So cute. Logan loved the water from the start but it was so amazing to see how much more comfortable he became as the summer progressed. By the end of the summer he often would swim around sans water wings and with his face in the water! I am so proud of him. He seems so grown up!


Eyelashes

Today Logan came up to me and told me that Bronson looked like a girl. I inquired further and he said it was because he had long eyelashes. I told him that he had long eyelashes too, that he got his eyelashes from me. This really seemed to confuse him. I didn't know how to explain genetics to him, so I just said that he has long eyelashes because mama has long eyelashes. This didn't seem to satisfy him but he didn't ask anymore questions.


Bones and blood

Speaking of 4 yr old super-curiosity. A few weeks ago we were having some chicken wings and I (mistakenly) told Logan that we have bones like the ones in the chicken wings. Of course then he wanted to know why and I said something about them helping hold you up and help so you can move around. Then he wanted to know if he ate the chicken bones if he would be able to move around better. I told him no, we don't eat bones. He protested that DOGS eat bones. I conceded that that was true, but even dogs don't eat chicken bones. sigh.

Logan is overly frightened of blood. Even the tiniest scratch will throw him into a tizzy if it has a touch of blood. At the same time he may have a big scrap and be unfazed until he sees that it is bleeding. Then a hysteria ensues. He asked me about blood the other day and he wanted to know why we have blood and where it comes from. I just told him that his body needs it to live and that it helps keep you healthy. sigh again. When do they stop being so inquisitive? He is a little question machine!


Speaking "Bronson"

Bronson is nearly 2 1/2 now and almost completely intelligible in his speech. Almost. He has several funny little phrases that he uses and an attitude to match. He likes to tell me to leave him alone and go away ( I think he gets this from Logan telling him not to bug him). My favorite thing is this phrase that I do not know where he got it from. He likes to call everything "my little ......" Example: "I need my little drink." "I am playing my little dinosaurs." " I am wearing my little pajamas." I know it doesn't sound like much, but it really is so cute!


Best News!

Here is the best news in this whole post. After nearly 2 1/2 years in the works my boys are sleeping in one room! It has been such a struggle for us. We have often had Bronson in a pack'n'play just so we could have them separate and get some sleep. When we got back from Chicago we had been mentally rearranging furniture so that we could put the boys in separate rooms. It has been 4 nights now and we are NEVER going back. Such a relief!


Steve and Erin (not boys!) news

Well, we had an eventful though not too profitable summer in Chicago. Steve was awesome and drove the whole way out and back. ALL night, both times. Well, I did drive for about an hour on the way back, but each trip was over 24 hours so I don't think that one hour really counts! Logan threw up the whole way out to Chicago and we didn't want a repeat performance on the way back so we were very careful not to let him color or do his seek'n'find books on the way back. Plus our DVD player was broken and we couldn't find a plug adapter for our laptop last minute so we couldn't watch movies either. The boys were remarkably good and patient with the whole thing. This summer was great for Steve and I personally. Having so little time together and such a high stress job could easily have left us frustrated and pulled apart, but it didn't. We really pulled together and learned to appreciate each other and the time we did have together more. I would go on but I will get sappy and I know that ya'll probably don't want to read about that!


I am sure I left out a million stories and I will try and post them as they occur to me but I wouldn't hold your breath. My memory isn't what it use to be. I blame the children!

I'm Back!

Gosh! I am sure you are all wondering what happened to me. Well we lost our internet connection in Chicago and so I have not been able to get on. So frustrating. Good news is - we are now back in Utah and I am back in action! I am exhausted right now, but I will be back on soon to try and catch up with the last month. In the meantime I will be checking all of your blogs for what has been happening with you! Yay! I have missed being able to keep tabs on everyone.

Serious Freak OUT!

I am freaking out! As I type this I am sitting on a chair in my kitchen with my feet up on another chair. Why do you ask? I will tell you why. I just saw a mouse in the kitchen and I am trying to keep it cornered until Steve can get here to kill it. AHHH I just saw it again. Actually it was a few seconds ago but I was mid sentence. Steve get home now! NOW! I need this thing out of my kitchen! They are so gross! Little beadie eyes and that skinny tail. I want to vomit right now just thinking about it. I have placed a plastic knife with peanut butter on in on the floor hoping to entice it out so that i can capture it. So so freaking out right now. Can you tell?

Sister Sister

This past week we have had my (single) sister Rebecca out here visiting us. It has been a blast. I hardly took any pictures, but I did get a few today. We all went for pedicures ( Jen, Becca, and I) and had some good girl time. Jen even took the opportunity to paint Taelie's nails. So so cute.

Mine is the foot on the right. Loving this color, makes my feet look so tan!

too cool

My boys are creatures of habit. They like to know what to expect and they get very upset if things are different. One of their habits is to put on their sunglasses as soon as they get into the car. Today on the way to church we got some cute pics of the boys showing 'em off.

Bronson and Taelie

The boys and I watched Taelie (my sister, Jen's daughter) for a couple hours today, and Bronson was completely enamoured with her. He wanted to hold her the whole time. He actually only got to hold her a few minutes, but if she was cooperating it would have been much more. so so cute.

Non-Due Date

Today's post is a very personal one for me. I have debated whether or not to even publish it. I think I always knew I would, but it was easier to write when I convinced myself that I may be the only one who ever reads it. I am hoping that by sharing this side of me, others who have gone through this will see a part of their own story. And for those of you who haven't, maybe it will give you a bit of a glimpse of what it feels like to miscarry.

Today is my- should have been - my due date. It is here and I have nothing to show for it but a broken heart. I am so grateful for the two amazing children that I have, but that doesn't diminish the loss I feel for the baby I don't have. Right now I should be in a hospital bed cooing over little fingers and toes. I should be picking baby names and wondering how I am going to fit three car seats in our small car. I should be exhausted over sleepless nights and balancing children. I should be sending out birth announcements and picking a blessing outfit. I should be looking forward to first steps and first words.

Instead I find myself dwelling on what will not happen. I guess I should just get over it. But I can't. I don't know if I ever will. I think something like this stays with you forever. I hope so. I never want to forget the little one that I lost.

I often find myself pondering why. Why did this baby not make it? Was there something wrong with how it formed? If I get pregnant again will it be the same spirit or another one? Was that the only chance that spirit gets to come to Earth? Was the spirit already present at 14 weeks? Was it something I did? I did have two incidents RIGHT before. I have been assured that it was nothing that I did/didn't do that caused this. But I am not convinced.

I know so many women who have gone through this and I am so sorry for every one of them. Every time I hear that someone has lost a pregnancy my heart just breaks for them. I can't help but cry. It has been six months and sometimes it is still so raw. I am still jealous when I hear that another woman is pregnant. It doesn't hurt like it used to. But it does still hurt. At least now I am to the point where I can be genuinely happy for them, rather than just pretend like I am.

For me, this has been and overwhelming and emotional experience. I always thought that if I had a miscarriage that I would be logical about it. That miscarriages happen because the body is simply getting rid of an non-viable fetus. How stupid I was. How naive. I didn't take into account how torn apart it would make me feel. How empty. How lonely. As I have struggled these last few months with trying to get back to normal, I have realized that I will never be 'normal' again. I have had to find a new 'normal'. In many ways that is a good thing. I am more compassionate and understanding. More grateful of the two little guys I have been blessed with. More aware of how lucky I am, and what is really important to me. More appreciative of my husband's arm around me and his kind words.

As I sit here and type this, there are tears in my eyes for what I have lost, and for what I have gained. Hopefully, someday, I will have another child, but even if I don't, I have already been blessed so much. It seems so selfish to ask for anything more.

A boy and his hat

For those of you that are unfortunate enough to not see Bronson everyday, you may be unaware of his pirate hat obsession. This post is for you. I have been making an effort to document his obsession. Here is some proof of his NEED to always wear his hat.

Overly Excited!

As many of you know, I am a total blog-stalker of thrifty decor chick. A while ago I was inspired by a bookshelf that she had done and I made my own. Today she mentioned my bookshelf on her blog! ( along with several other, more talented, women.) For her blog click here. For just the post that mentioned me (however briefly) click here. I am pretty much giddy over the whole thing. Like a celebrity just said hello to me or something. I am such a nerd!

the whale and the ladybug

Logan got a blow up whale toy for his birthday from Aunt Jen and Uncle Ben, and it is a big hit everytime we go to the pool, and not just with our kids, with every other kid at the pool. The boys are doing a great job sharing. This is Bronson today, he was all ready to go to the pool and he was trying to get the whale over to the door. He was struggling but very determined to do it without help.

I found a ladybug in our apartment today. Logan is thrilled. I don't know how long it will make it before it gets squished.