As I started reading 2 Nephi chapter 2 tonight one line really stuck out to me. "....and He shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy good." I thought to myself, "what are my afflictions, and how have I benefited by dealing with them?"
Obviously, for me, I would say that my biggest affliction has been endometriosis and all that has come with it. From infertility to chronic pain, from a miscarriage to having to come home early from my mission. Endometriosis has cost me a lot in my life, it really has. But have I gained more than I have lost because of it?
What have I gained or learned from having endometriosis? The first thing that comes to my mind is empathy. I think that has been the biggest thing that I have been blessed with. I can cry along with those that have miscarried, (in fact I did that just yesterday), or even those that are having a hard time coming to church because of an illness. I know others who have endo, and when they are suffering, I can understand their pain. Even those that are going through trials I can understand better and know that what I am struggling with, while different than theirs, Christ understands us ALL, and He alone has suffered all and that helps me feel more connected to Him and others who are struggling
I was told at 18 that my chances of having kids at all was about 50%. But, we have been blessed with two beautiful boys. TWO! Yes, I am sad that I don't have more children, but I need to remember how blessed I am to have any children at all. I need to remember to take joy in even the mundane.
I have also learned that receiving help is so much harder than giving help. I can't remember the number of times that I have had wonderful friends and neighbors help with dinner or watch my children on a particularly bad day. It is so hard for me to ask for help, but I have to remember that when I offer someone else help it is because I truly want to help, and the people offering it to me likely feel the same way.
One odd thing that I have "learned" from having endo is that I love to craft. I didn't know this until I started thinking about Bronson's first birthday and how I wanted to commemorate it. It has since spiraled (very possibly out of control?). Because I am sick so much, I get bored quickly and a project in my hands is a wonderful way to keep myself occupied and also feel productive. I wonder if I would ever have developed my love for crafting if I hadn't been bed-ridden so often?
This is from a journal entry I started tonight which, oddly, felt like I should blog it. I am sure there are many other blessing that I have received in my life because of endo, this is just a quick list that came to me tonight. I encourage you to look at your life, and your trials and afflictions and try and find the good and the blessings that you have received through your struggles. I would love to hear your realizations.